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Cool New Cucumber

Filed under: Gee whiz — Bickmo at 10:12 am on Friday, June 15, 2007

The Japanese have beat us to the punch once again. How often have you laid awake at night thinking, “If only my soda tasted more like a salad?” We all have. But the people of Japan, forward-thinking as always, have now brought the dream to life. Introducing “Pepsi Ice Cucumber”, Japan’s new vegetable-flavored cola. That’s right — cucumber.

Drink up!

Now, the breakthrough salad pop does not contain any real cucumber. According to Aya Takemoto, spokesperson for Suntory Ltd, Japan’s Pepsi distributor, developers artificially flavored the fizzy drink to taste like “the refreshing taste of a fresh cucumber.” Thirsty?

Fab Photo #4

Filed under: Fab Photos, Science, Nature — Bickmo at 10:16 am on Friday, June 1, 2007

Io crossing Jupiter

Io Crossing Jupiter

Volcanic Io hangs in front of its parent planet, Jupiter. This innermost of the Galilean moons is roughly the same size as our Moon, meaning that fours Earths would easily fit in frame.

The wanderings of Bickmo

Filed under: Gee whiz, Travel — Bickmo at 8:29 pm on Thursday, May 24, 2007

I’ve traveled some in my day. I love to run off — tell me to “begone” and I probably will. And now you can see where! My footsteps can be seen in 23 U.S. states and several nations. My only regret thus far is many of the countries I have visited are tiny, rendering my world travel map seemingly unimpressive. Be not fooled! This is false indeed. The careful reader will note small yet fun highlights such as Tahiti and New Zealand in the South Pacific Ocean, the Bahamas in the Carribean Sea, and several European countries including Greece. Fantastasuperiffic!


create your own visited states map


create your own visited countries map

Before you die, visit… Milford Track

Filed under: Travel, Nature, Life — Bickmo at 4:41 pm on Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Bridge at Milford

– Fiordland National Park, New Zealand

Do I love New Zealand too much? Every time I ask myself this, I recall my visit to NZ’s great treasure, Fiordland National Park in 2005, and the thought runs howling right out the door.

My fervor was born of a two-year stint on NZ’s North Island. A vacation 10 years later spanning both North and South Islands cemented the deal. Why? It is simple: sheer, mind-blowing grandeur. The beauty of NZ is simply undeniable, and nothing exemplifies it better than Fiordland’s world-renowned Milford Track. You need to go there.

Milford Sound

Often described as “the finest walk in the world”, the 54 km (33 mile) Milford Track wends its way through a remote U-shaped valley carved eons before by a hungry glacier, up over a steep mountain saddle, before descending into another glacial valley until terminating at the equally famous Milford Sound*. The route is stuffed to the brim with rainforest, rivers, lakes, waterfalls, podocarp and beech forests, and even alpine meadows. And rain. Buckets of it. This region of NZ averages 7 meters of rain annually. That’s 23 feet every year. Pack a poncho!

Sheerdown Peak

In 2005, I took a cruise on Milford Sound, yet I missed out on the Track, much to my chagrin. The advance booking and extensive preparation required to reserve a spot deterred me. Not next time. I have seen firsthand what this magical place has to offer.

So visit Milford Track. NZ is the place to go when you need to just be, and the Track is the best of NZ. I will go before there I die. You should too.

*Amazing its own right, Rudyard Kipling labeled Milford Sound the eighth wonder of the world. He wasn’t kidding.

More Milford

Waterfalls at Milford

Bickmo stirs pot at Salt Lake Tribune! (kinda)

Filed under: Current events — Bickmo at 12:03 pm on Monday, April 2, 2007

Currently, the LDS Church and BYU are mired in the hubbub over Vice President Dick Cheney’s scheduled commencement address later this month. The SL Tribune’s Rebecca Walsh wrote a nasty column about it, to which I responded with this letter to the editor, published today. It has caused a good deal of consternation on the Trib’s website. Click on the links in this post to check it out.

Read the LDS Church’s reponse to her column as well. The Tribune also reported on the response.

Songs that Strike Me #1

Filed under: Life, Songs — Bickmo at 3:37 pm on Tuesday, March 6, 2007

I often feel we adults become divorced from our true selves as we exit childhood. In the name of “progress”, we too often abandon loves, likes, passions, and the eye for the wonderful. Is not life meaningless without joy and beauty? Are we not supposed to become like little children again? This song captures well that loss of self.

The Logical Song - Supertramp (1979)

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world’s asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!

At night, when all the worlds asleep,
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man.
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.

Bickmo’s talent validated by female; ego inflates proportionally

Filed under: Funny, Letters — Bickmo at 5:30 pm on Saturday, February 10, 2007

An avalanche of fan mail continues to pour into the Land of Bickmo Leftslice. What shall I do with it all? Post it on my blog? Sounds good.

A wonderful, sweet, perceptive, nice girl named Haley sent me this wonderful, sweet, perceptive, nice email the other day. The content is edited, in part for readability and space considerations, but mostly to highlight the flattering bits. They might be in bold print. She writes:

“Cory,

[My friend] whipped up your website on his computer and showed me…your columns, which amuse me greatly but more importantly validate my reality. Since then I’ve perused through some of the other features of your site and have been pleased to find that you too are a fan of Homestar, engrish.com, and despair.com…

[Translation: I complete her because I am the funniest guy on Earth. I had her at “hello”.]

So I guess the purpose of this email is to tell you that I think you’re a very talented writer (my personal favorite being the minute-by-minute detailing of a typical Sunday block [read the article here.]) and that you’re coping with singledom very gracefully….I think there are a lot worse things [than being unmarried] in this world, even in this LDS world we lovingly call “Utah”.

[An entire Mormon planet? Planet Utah? How would that be? Would Captain Kirk even beam down? Oh, and did you catch her “you’re a very talented writer” compliment? Awwww-yeeeaah.]

I guess that’s all. Oh, I did want to apologize on behalf of female kind for the ridiculous things we do sometimes. However, as I tell many of my guy friends when they complain about girls: if you want a mature relationship, date a mature person.

[That takes me out of the running! Who needs mature women anyway? Oh yeah. I do.]

Happy trails,

Haley”

I sent Haley a wonderful, sweet, perceptive, nice reply to her email, but I forgot to save it for you all. Sadly, it is gone forever. Wipe those tears, silly. They won’t bring it back, now will it?

Roaring the blues

Filed under: Gee whiz, Life — Bickmo at 1:57 pm on Thursday, January 25, 2007

In my quest for death by degrees, I have again returned to school, this time to earn a PhD from Utah State University. This makes for my sixth institution of learning (not counting prison), begging the question: have these schools’ mascots and colors sculpted me as a human being? Yes. I have indeed descried a pattern over the years, so let’s take a look.

CORY’S LONG LIST of SCHOOLS

East Sandy Elementary Mustangs (Sandy, UT)
Royal blue & white

Shelledy Elementary Bobcats (Fruita, CO)
Light blue & white

Fruita Middle School Cougars (Fruita, CO)
Purple & yellow

Fruita Monument High Wildcats (Fruita, CO)
Blue & white

Brigham Young University Cougars (Provo, UT)
Blue & white

Utah State University Aggies (Logan, UT)
Navy blue & white

How did I do? The data clearly show I am an undomesticated mountain feline with white fur and blue blood from Coloutah. That sounds about right.*

*Apologies to yellow, wild horses, and the color purple. And the cattle. Can’t leave out the cattle.

5 Lesser Known Facts About the Bickmo

Filed under: Life — Bickmo at 12:11 pm on Thursday, January 4, 2007

Apparently I misunderstood the purpose of Senor Byrd’s blogtag when I composed my last post. The idea was to list five obscure facts about myself. Although I prefer musing upon late 70’s films, the question remains: shall I create a list per Ryan’s wishes? Sure, why not.

The Bickmo:

  1. Played cello for 8 years
  2. Can count to 32 in binary on his fingers (an extended finger is 1, a folded finger is 0)
  3. Is a southpaw (see Ciotóg)
  4. Despises cottage cheese
  5. Once drove to Denver in reverse*

*May or may not be a false statement.

He will, he will Rock you!

Filed under: Films, Life — Bickmo at 4:59 pm on Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Looks like I got “blog tagged” by Ryan Byrd, who has noted the dusty state of things around here. Super! My only response to my friend is: let’s see those AK-47 pics! Tag, you’re re-it.

What do you get when you watch all six Rocky movies in the span of three days? The same thing I got: that blasted theme song running on repeat through your head for many days. “Gonna fly now… “ Good thing it’s an inspiring tune.

I saw the original Rocky only once before, years upon years ago as a child. Through the years, my kid’s brain only kept vague images of an incoherent boxer mumbling to people while downing glasses of raw eggs in his filthy apartment. He practiced for fights by hitting meat in a giant freezer. He fell in love with an ugly girl who never talked. I thought it a colossal bore.

How wrong I was. No doubt Rocky is slow by today’s frenetic, attention-span-of-a-YouTuber standards. Yet the tale still totes a powerful punch, perhaps more now than ever. Rocky — both film and character — is all love, heart, and courage. Yes, the story of the underdog has been done to death, long before Rocky and often since, but rarely has it been done better.

The magic is only truly recaptured in the sixth and final film, Rocky Balboa. It manages to deliver its premise in a sweet, surprisingly believable way, never dispensed too fast, but rarely boring either (unless you’re squarely ensconced in the sound bite generation). The film is not perfect, but enjoyable, reminding us in terms familiar, yet paradoxically fresh, to always have courage.

Get him, Rock!

P.S. If you want to subject yourself to the four filler sequels, that’s your affair. II and III are passable, while IV and V just blow.

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